so what

20050827

The dodo cry was similar to that of a common goose. ¶ 00:08 (0) comments

The Dodos: "
The most famous of the recently extinct birds is of course the Dodo one of 3 fairly similar large flightless birds living on the Mascarene Islands off the coast of Madagascar which became extinct as a result of hunting and the depredations of rats, cats, pigs and macaques, all of which were introduced by early travellers. The three birds were, the Dodo from Mauritius, the Solitaire of Reunion and the Solitaire of Rodriguez

The Dodo, Raphus cucullatus was extinct by 1680 only 174 years after Europeans first became aware of it. No whole birds are known but a selection of bones including a whole head and a foot are in various museums around Europe. The bill was 9 inches 22-25 cm long and it is believed the bird may have weighed as much as 50 lbs. There are several descriptions and drawings which indicate a greyish bird with a lighter breast. Feet and legs yellow. The plumage may of course have changed seasonally as do many birds.

Reunion Solitaire or White Dodo (Raphus solitarius) is known only from paintings and descriptions. Like the Rodriguez Solitaire the exact date it became extinct is not known. Bary de Saint Vincent visited the Island in 1801 and reported that no members of the species had been seen for some time.

These 3 islands between them were home to many more birds than these, most of them endemic and completely unique. Of the 28 fairly certain species of birds found on these islands, 27 were found nowhere else in the world, and of these 24 or 25 are now extinct." ¶ 00:00 (0) comments

20050826

The Great Auk: "Alca impennis Last known specimens killed at Edley Rock, Iceland in 1844. This was a large flightless seabird feeding on fish and eels and nesting on a number of rocky islands in the north Atlantic particularly Gunk Island where the last known breeding colony was exterminated between 1785 and 1841. The birds were killed by seamen for food and by fishermen for food and for use as bait.

The largest of the Auks, Great Auks measured about 30 inches (75 cm) long with a black head and back and white front. The bill was large as in all Auks and their feet webbed, they had a white spat before the eye on either side of the face. Wings dark brown with secondaries having white tips. Eye chestnut. The white spat was only present in summer and the dark brown/black of the chin and throat are white. Breeding probably occurred from May-July when the female laid one egg, incubation took about 30 days - we really know very little about it." ¶ 23:55 (0) comments

Mysterious Starling: " Aplonis mavornata This extinct bird is known on from one specimen in the British Museum. Nothing is known of it except that it was probably collected on one of Captain Cook's voyages. It is not even known which Pacific Island it lived on, though now it is found on none." ¶ 23:52 (0) comments


oh thai hog-nosed bat
smallest flying mammal in the world
being only 1.2" long 
and weighing a mere 1.8g
well smaller are you 
than many insects and snails
who might gather
for a short drink of your milk.

¶ 12:29 (0) comments

This Is the Title of This Story,
Which Is Also Found Several Times in the Story Itself
David Moser

This is the first sentence of this story. This is the second sentence. This is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself. This sentence is questioning the intrinsic value of the first two sentences. This sentence is to inform you, in case you haven't already realized it, that this is a self-referential story, that is, a story containing sentences that refer to their own structure and function. This is a sentence that provides an ending to the first paragraph.

This is the first sentence of a new paragraph in a self-referential story. This sentence is introducing you to the protagonist of the story, a young boy named Billy. This sentence tells you that Billy is blond and blue-eyed and American and twelve years old and strangling his mother. This sentence comments on the awkward nature of the self-referential narrative form while recognizing the strange and playful detachment it affords the writer. As if illustrating the point made by the last sentence, this sentence reminds us, with no trace of facetiousness, that children are a precious gift from God and that the world is a better place when graced by the unique joys and delights they bring to it.

This sentence describes Billy's mother's bulging eyes and protruding tongue and makes reference to the unpleasant choking and gagging noises she's making. This sentence makes the observation that these are uncertain and difficult times, and that relationships, even seemingly deep-rooted and permanent ones, do have a tendency to break down.

Introduces, in this paragraph, the device of sentence fragments. A sentence fragment. Another. Good device. Will be used more later.

This is actually the last sentence of this story but has been placed here by mistake. This is the title of this story, which is also found several times within the story itself. As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself in his bed transformed into a gigantic insect. This sentence informs you that the preceding sentence is from another story entirely (a better one, it must be noted) and has no place at all in this particular narrative. Despite the claims of the preceding sentence, this sentence feels compelled to inform you that the story you are reading is in actuality ``The Metamorphosis'' by Franz Kafka, and that the sentence referred to by the preceding sentence is the only sentence which does indeed belong to the story. This sentence overrides the preceding sentence by informing the reader (poor, confused wretch) that this piece of literature is actually the Declaration of Independence, but that the author, in a show of extreme negligence (if not malicious sabotage), has so far failed to include even one single sentence from that stirring document, although he has condescended to use a small sentence fragment, namely, ``When in the course of human events,'' embedded in quotation marks near the end of a sentence. Showing a keen awareness of the boredom and downright hostility of the average reader with regard to the pointless conceptual games indulged in by the preceding sentences, this sentence returns us at last to the scenario of the story by asking the question, ``Why is Billy strangling his mother?'' This sentence attempts to shed some light on the question posed by the preceding sentence but fails. This sentence, however, succeeds, in that it suggests a possible incestuous relationship between Billy and his mother and alludes to the concomitant Freudian complications an astute reader will immediately envision. Incest. The unspeakable taboo. The universal prohibition. Incest. And notice the sentence fragments? Good literary device. Will be used more later.

This sentence is the first sentence in a new paragraph. This is the last sentence in a new paragraph.

This sentence can serve as either the beginning of the paragraph or the end, depending on its placement. This is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself. This sentence raises a serious objection to the entire class of self-referential sentences that merely comment on their own function or placement within the story (e.g., the preceding four sentences), on the grounds that they are monotonously predictable, unforgivably self-indulgent, and merely serve to distract the reader from the real subject of this story, which at this point seems to concern strangulation and incest and who knows what other delightful topics. The purpose of this sentence is to point out that the preceding sentence, while not itself a member of the class of self-referential sentences it objects to, nevertheless also serves merely to distract the reader from the real subject of this story, which actually concerns Gregor Samsa's inexplicable transformation into a gigantic insect (despite the vociferous counterclaims of other well-meaning although misinformed sentences). This sentence can serve as either the beginning of the paragraph or the end, depending on its placement.

This is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself. This is almost the title of this story, which is found only once in the story itself. This sentence regretfully states that up to this point the self-referential mode of narrative has had a paralyzing effect on the actual progress of the story itself---that is, these sentences have been so concerned with analyzing themselves and their role in the story that they have failed by and large to perform their function as communicators of events and ideas that one hopes coalesce into a plot, character development, etc.---in short, the very raisons d'être of any respectable, hardworking sentence in the midst of a piece of compelling prose fiction. This sentence in addition points out the obvious analogy between the plight of these agonizingly self-aware sentences and similarly afflicted human beings, and it points out the analogous paralyzing effects wrought by excessive and tortured self-examination.

The purpose of this sentence (which can also serve as a paragraph) is to speculate that if the Declaration of Independence had been worded and structured as lackadaisically and incoherently as this story has been so far, there's no telling what kind of warped libertine society we'd be living in now or to what depths of decadence the inhabitants of this country might have sunk, even to the point of deranged and debased writers constructing irritatingly cumbersome and needlessly prolix sentences that sometimes possess the questionable if not downright undesirable quality of referring to themselves and they sometimes even become run-on sentences or exhibit other signs of inexcusably sloppy grammar like unneeded superfluous redundancies that almost certainly would have insidious effects on the lifestyle and morals of our impressionable youth, leading them to commit incest or even murder and maybe that's why Billy is strangling his mother, because of sentences just like this one, which have no discernible goals or perspicuous purpose and just end up anywhere, even in mid

Bizarre. A sentence fragment. Another fragment. Twelve years old. This is a sentence that. Fragmented. And strangling his mother. Sorry, sorry. Bizarre. This. More fragments. This is it. Fragments. The title of this story, which. Blond. Sorry, sorry. Fragment after fragment. Harder. This is a sentence that. Fragments. Damn good device.

The purpose of this sentence is threefold: (1) to apologize for the unfortunate and inexplicable lapse exhibited by the preceding paragraph; (2) to assure you, the reader, that it will not happen again; and (3) to reiterate the point that these are uncertain and difficult times and that aspects of language, even seemingly stable and deeply rooted ones such as syntax and meaning, do break down. This sentence adds nothing substantial to the sentiments of the preceding sentence but merely provides a concluding sentence to this paragraph, which otherwise might not have one.

This sentence, in a sudden and courageous burst of altruism, tries to abandon the self-referential mode but fails. This sentence tries again, but the attempt is doomed from the start.

This sentence, in a last ditch attempt to infuse some iota of story line into this paralyzed prose piece, quickly alludes to Billy's frantic cover-up attempts, followed by a lyrical, touching, and beautifully written passage, wherein Billy is reconciled with his father (thus resolving the subliminal Freudian conflicts obvious to any astute reader) and a final exciting police chase scene during which Billy is accidentally shot and killed by a panicky rookie policeman who is coincidentally named Billy. This sentence, although basically in complete sympathy with the laudable efforts of the preceding action-packed sentence, reminds the reader that such allusions to a story that doesn't, in fact, yet exist are no substitute for the real thing and therefore will not get the author (indolent goof-off that he is) off the proverbial hook.

Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph.

The purpose. Of this paragraph. Is to apologize. For its gratuitous use. Of. Sentence fragments. Sorry.

The purpose of this sentence is to apologize for the pointless and silly adolescent games indulged in by the preceding two paragraphs, and to express regret on the part of us, the more mature sentences, that the entire tone of this story is such that it can't seem to communicate a simple, albeit sordid, scenario.

This sentence wishes to apologize for all the needless apologies found in this story (this one included), which, although placed here ostensibly for the benefit of the more vexed readers, merely delay in a maddeningly recursive way the continuation of the by-now nearly forgotten story line.

This sentence is bursting at the punctuation marks with news of the dire import of self-reference as applied to sentences, a practice that could prove to be a veritable Pandora's box of potential havoc, for if a sentence can refer or allude to itself, why not a lowly subordinate clause, perhaps this very clause? Or this sentence fragment? Or three words? Two words? One?

Perhaps it is appropriate that this sentence gently and with no trace of condescension remind us that these are indeed difficult and uncertain times and that in general people just aren't nice enough to each other, and perhaps we, whether sentient human beings or sentient sentences, should just try harder. I mean, there is such a thing as free will, there has to be, and this sentence is proof of it! Neither this sentence nor you, the reader, is completely helpless in the face of all the pitiless forces at work in the universe. We should stand our ground, face facts, take Mother Nature by the throat and just try harder. By the throat. Harder. Harder, harder.

Sorry.

This is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself.

This is the last sentence of the story. This is the last sentence of the story. This is the last sentence of the story. This is.

Sorry.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back to ``Self-Reference''

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally published in Metamagical Themas by Douglas R. Hofstadter, Basic Books, 1985. ¶ 00:47 (0) comments

Now that you've taken that speed-reading course, you've probably already
finished reading this list.
I could not fail to disagree with you less.
To define recursion, we must first define recursion.
If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data points.
If God had meant for us to be naked, we would have been born that way.
In English, every word can be verbed.
Is this true or only clever?
Justice: A decision in your favor.
Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.
Life is like an analogy.
Make things as simple as possible, but not simpler. --Einstein
My computer NEVER cras
2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
I like my water diluted.
Positive: Being mistaken at the top of your voice.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.-Sigmund Freud
That was Zen; this is Tao.
Help! I'm being held prisoner by my heredity and environment!
Drawing on my fine command of the English language I said nothing. -Robert
Benchley
The days of the digital watch are numbered.
Confusion is always the most honest response.
There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
The universe is surrounded by whatever it is that surrounds universes.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
If you have something important to say for God's sake start at the end.
There is no bottom to worse.
Things are more like they are now than they have ever been. -Gerald Ford.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
This aphorism would be seven words long if it were six words shorter.
This sentence no verb.
Time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space.
To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start.
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it is just the
opposite.
To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.
Very few profundities can be expressed in less than 80 characters.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
What this country needs is more leaders who know what this country needs.
What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind.
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Why don't "minimalists" find a shorter name for themselves?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why did the Tachyon cross the road? Because it was on the other side.
Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it's said?
After all is said and done, usually more is said.
Anyone who makes an absolute statement is a fool.
Can you think of another word for "synonym"?
Black holes are where God divided by zero...
But other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?
Don't just DO something, STAND THERE!
Visualize whirled peas.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
I avoid clichés like the plague.
I show a clear pattern of unpredictability
I thought I was wrong once...but I was mistaken.
I used to be indecisive but now I'm not sure.
I'm a very modest person, and damn proud of it.
Jesus saves sinners and redeems them for valuable prizes.
The truth will be found when it is no longer needed.
The universe is a figment of it's own imagination.
Time exists so that everything doesn't happen all at once.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Stop Plate Tectonics!
My brother was an only child.
Don't be so open minded that your brains fall out.
The next sentence is true. The previous sentence is false.
It's impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Twenty per cent of Zero is Better than Nothing.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you find a rock. -Will
Rogers
Quantum particles: The dreams that stuff is made of.
Never forget what you need to remember.
It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression of stupidly than
to open it and remove all doubt.
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Patriotism is a pernicious, psychopathic form of idiocy. -George Bernard
Shaw
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Black holes suck.
Closed Captioned in HEX for Programmers.
Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
Consider it considered!
Consistency: The last refuge of the unimaginative
DON'T READ THIS!!!
Drive Offensively!
Floggings will continue until morale improves.
186000 miles a second: it's not just a good idea, it's the law!
Hard Work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
I have NOT lost my mind, it's here on disk somewhere...
Moderation in everything, including moderation.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I'll never forget what's-his-name.
If you can't say it in 50 characters, then don't b
I'm more humble than you are!
If we believe absurdities, we shall commit atrocities.
Illiterate? Write for information!
Is it ok to panic now?
It's not a bug, it's a feature.
Life is the ultimate IQ test.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Life would be easier if I had God's source code.
Martyrdom is the oldest way of achieving fame without ability.
Most of us don't sell out because nobody wants to buy.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough
money not to quit.
Murder is a crime. Describing murder is not. Sex is not a crime. Describing
sex is.
My greatest fear is that one of the candidates will win.
Is Life is based on a true story?
Never let your willpower get the best of you.
Advice to doctors: Never say, "Oops!"; always say "Ah, interesting!"
Never underestimate the power of a platitude.
93.7% of all statistics are made up.
One doesn't need to eat the entire egg to know it is bad.
Ninety percent of the people in any group think they're in the top ten
percent.
No matter where you go, there you are.
I know of no law of logic that demands every event have a cause.
Things like that could give hypocrisy a bad name.
Sincerity is a vastly overrated virtue.
Not many people realize just how well known I am.
Oh no, not another learning experience!
On a scale of 1 to 10, 4 is about a 7.
One picture had better be worth a thousand words, it takes up a lot more
disk space.
Only fools are certain; it takes wisdom to be confused.
Palindrome isn't one.
People who are late are happier than those who have to wait for them.
People who think they know everything are the easiest to fool.
Physics and law enforcement: If it weren't for them, I'd be unstoppable.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising
money.
REALITY.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot universe? (Y/N/Q)
Rebooting your brain can be tricky.
Recent polls reveal that some people have never been polled.
Right theory, wrong universe.
Science seeks to make theories that are so beautiful that Nature is
flattered and acquiesces.
Strip mining prevents forest fires!
Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
Sometimes the only solution is to find a new problem.
Sometimes the truth can be so unnecessary.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
Man is certainly stark mad. He can't make a worm but he makes gods by the
dozens. - Montaigne
A little greed can get you lots of stuff.
A little inaccuracy saves tons of explanation.
All generalizations are false.
Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.
Few people can be happy unless they hate some other person, nation, or
creed. - Bertrand Russell
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact they do so. - Bertrand
Russell
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. -
Woody Allen
Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow. - Oscar Wild
Cabbage: A vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose
Bierce
Egotist: A person more interested in himself than me. - Ambrose Bierce
Don't be humble. You're not that great. - Golda Meir
Wise men make proverbs but fools repeat them.
There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher has said it. - Cicero
Tell the truth and run.
Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
One murder makes a villain, a million murders makes a hero.
Only the mediocre are always at their best.
Why is there only one anti trust division?
I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.
If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.
I'm not breaking the rules, I'm just testing their elasticity.
I'm not even going to ignore that.
Is "tired old cliché" one?
It would be nice if entropy could be used for something constructive.
I've told you MILLIONS of times, don't exaggerate!
God not only plays dice He sometimes throws them where they can't be seen.
You can't frighten me, I'm a coward, I'm always scared.
Your idea is crazy but nor crazy enough to be true. Neils Bohr
Anyone who is not shocked by quantum mechanics does not understand it. Neils
Bohr
You are not thinking you are mealy being logical. Bohr to Einstein
I think it's safe to say that nobody understands quantum mechanics. Richard
Feynman
The great thing about Entropy is that it requires no maintenance.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
The Bill of Rights goes too far, it should have stopped at "Congress shall
make no law."
The hardest thing about time travel is the grammar.
The Internet interprets censorship as damage and routes around it.
The universe does not have laws -- it has habits. And habits can be broken.
The Universe is a big place . . . perhaps the biggest.
Predicting is hard, especially the future.
The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.
This isn't right. This isn't even wrong. -Wolfgang Pauli
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
Wasting time is an important part of living.
We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.
What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
What's another word for "thesaurus?"
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
When you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend.
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out all the wrong words. --Mark
Twain
Man is the only animal who blushes, or needs to. - Mark Twain
Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. - Mark Twain
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know. - Mark
Twain
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I
repeat myself. - Mark Twain
Faith is believing what you know ain't so. -Mark Twain
Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
It takes about ten years to get used to how old you are.
I was born in Australia because my mother wanted to be near me.
God was satisfied with his own work and that is fatal. -Samuel Butler
Why attack God? He may be as miserable as we are. -Erik Satie
Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not
committing them? - Jules Feiffer
I've tried relaxing but I feel more comfortable tense.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word
alone. -Al Capone
Vote early, vote often. -Al Capone
You can't be a figment of my imagination, I'd have done a better job.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
You could be replaced by an infinite number of monkeys.
You never know until you find out.
Nothing is difficult if you know how.
You're not as real as you think you are.
You're not right. You just SOUND right.
Of course that's a worst case scenario, the effect could be much more
localized and just destroy the galaxy.
What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind.
Time is just one damn thing after another.
Why is there something rather than nothing?
A good scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.
All Extremists should be shot!
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
Whose cruel idea was it to put an S in the word Lisp?
Avoid unnecessary, inessential and needless repetition and redundancy.
I want to be a rebel just like everybody else.
In religion everything that is not mandatory is forbidden.
Heisenberg slept here, I think.
Help wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
I intend to live forever -- so far, so good!
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Inertia makes the world go round.
It's my patriotic duty to conserve energy so I do, I conserve angular
momentum too.
Individualists of the world, UNITE!
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Why are there 5 syllables in the word monosyllabic?
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Things are not only stranger than we think but stranger than we can think.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee.
A conservative is a worshipper of dead radicals.
A conservative is a liberal who's been mugged.
A liberal is a conservative who's been drafted.
The good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.
People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either of
them being made.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the
universe. - Carl Sagan
Entropy: Not just a fad, it's the future!
A vibration is a motion that can't make up its mind which way it wants to
go.
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really
quite busy.
The Three Laws Of Thermodynamics: You can't win, you can't break even, you
can't get out of the game.
Particle physicists can never hold a meeting, whenever they decide on a
place they can't agree on a time.
A red sign on the door of a physics professor: 'If this sign is blue, you're
going too fast.'
Little Johnny was a scientist. Little Johnny is no more. For what he thought
was H2O was H2SO4.
If the phone doesn't ring it's me.
Most of our future lies ahead.
How can there be self-help GROUPS?
Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all?'
If you're in hell and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
Practice makes perfect, but if nobody's perfect, why practice?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why Do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
How can someone draw a blank?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
Where did Webster look up the definitions when he wrote his book?
What the heck is a near-miss? If you nearly miss something, don't you hit
it?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
If I'm here on earth to help others, what are the others here for?
Why does bottled water have an expiration date?
We have to believe in free will. We have no choice.
An eternity is very, very long time, especially towards the end.
The meaning of life is to give life meaning.
Agnostic Prayer: Oh God if there is a God save my soul if I have a soul.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is
research.
Define the Universe and give three examples.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve
immortality by not dying. - Woody Allen
Ever notice that 'What the hell' is always the right decision? - Marilyn
Monroe
When I was born I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half. -
Gracie Allen
Sincerity is the key. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - George
Burns
A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it. - Oscar Wilde
Only the shallow know themselves. - Oscar Wilde
I no longer wish to belong to the kind of club that accepts people like me
as members" - Groucho Marx
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I
hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown
Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by
incompetence. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Glory is fleeting but obscurity is forever. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts
can be counted." - Albert Einstein
I'm not confused, I'm well mixed. -Robert Frost
As the island of our knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance. -
John Wheeler
God is real... unless declared an integer.
We all have the strength to endure the misfortunes of others.
A good deed never goes unpunished. - Gore Vidal
There is no problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I
advise. - Gore Vidal
Never have children, only grandchildren. - Gore Vidal
Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little. - Gore Vidal
Though I am not naturally honest I am so sometimes by chance. - William
Shakespeare
The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose. - William Shakespeare
I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up. -Tom Lehrer
Toots Shor's restaurant is so crowed nobody goes there anymore. - Yogi Berra
I really didn't say everything I said. -Yogi Berra
I don't care what's written about me as long as it isn't true. - Dorothy
Parker
I am a deeply superficial person. -Andy Warhol
If Jesus was Jewish, how come he has a Mexican name?
Every generation laughs at the old fashions but religiously follows the
new. -Henry David Thoreau
Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the
earth! -Henry David Thoreau
Men have become tools of their tools. -Henry David Thoreau
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other
bastard die for his. -George Patton
Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union. -Joseph Stalin
The way to make money is to buy when blood is running in the streets. John D
Rockefeller
There will be a rain dance Friday, weather permitting. -George Carlin
Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather
straps. -Emo philips
No more good must be attempted than the public can bear. -Thomas Jefferson
A politician is a man who approaches every problem with an open
mouth. -Adlai Stevenson
If Roosevelt were alive today he's turn over in his grave. -Samuel Goldwin
You can be sincere and still be stupid.
Prejudices save time.
Voters want a fraud they can believe in.
Man was predestined to have free will.
Reality is a collective hunch.
Everything changes but the avant garde.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
The world is run by C students.
A productive drunk is the bane of moralists.
University politics is vicious precisely because the stakes are so
small. -Henry Kissinger
Ninety percent of politicians give the other ten percent a bad
reputation. -Henry Kissinger
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think
it's their fault. -Henry Kissinger
Ninety percent of everything is crap. -Theodore Sturgeon
Nonviolence is fine as long as it works. -Malcolm X
If I had more time I would write a shorter letter. -Blaise Pascal
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do
and not doing it.
Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent.
You can't measure time in days the same way you can measure money in dollars
because every day is different.
"Shut up" he explained. -Ring Lardner
"Hello" he lied.
What is true is what I can't help believing. -Oliver Wendell Holmes
I was probably the only revolutionary ever referred to as "cute". -Abbie
Hoffman
I don't trust him. We're friends. -Bertolt Brecht
Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I
don't care. -William Safire
If this is coffee please bring me some tea; but if this is tea please bring
me some coffee. -Abraham Lincoln
Folks that have no vices have very few virtues. -Abraham Lincoln
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. -John F Kennedy
Coincidences are spiritual puns. -G K Chesterton
A bore is someone who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.
Plato was a bore. -Friedrich Nietzsche
Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal. -Leo Tolstoy
Tolstoy's book are loose baggy monsters. -Henry James
Henry James writes fiction as if it were a painful duty. -Oscar Wilde
If you want to look young and thin hang around old fat people.
There are very few people who don't become more interesting when they stop
talking.
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or
lose.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it.
I have read your book and much like it.
When in doubt have two guys come through the door with guns. -Raymond
Chandler
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. -Voltaire
Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
Use an accordion, go to jail, that's the law!
Suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
He's as sharp as a beach ball.
She's as shapely as a sack full of door knobs.
I once heard the voice of God. It said "Vrrrrmmmmm." Unless it was just a
lawn mower.
My neighbor has a circular driveway... He can't get out.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
I bought some powdered water, but I didn't know what to add.
I have a map of the united states in it's original size, one mile equals one
mile.
I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road; I don't know how I got there.
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday, twenty people were
trapped on the escalators.
I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.
My friend has a baby. I'm writing down all the noises he makes so later I
can ask him what he meant.
I'm so tired...I was up all night trying to round off infinity.
Irrationality is the square root of all evil.
At the last costume party I didn't go to, I went as the Invisible Man.
Honk if your horn is broken.
I like rarely used clichés.
Before I begin speaking, there is something I would like to say.
Half the lies they tell about me are true.
Every Tom, Dick, and Harry is called John.
Having lost sight of our goal, we must redouble our efforts!
This species has always been extinct.
Monism is the theory that anything less than everything is nothing.
Authorized parking is forbidden!
A formalist is one who cannot understand a theory unless it is meaningless.
Every once in a while it never stops raining.
What is the question that contains the word cantaloupe for no apparent
reason?
The Universe may be as great as they say, but it wouldn't be missed if it
didn't exist.
If somebody loves you, love them back unconditionally.
Break every rule.
Computers are like lynxes in the sense that I cannot think of a suitable
analogy for either of them right now.
All true mathematical equations are tautologies.
I don't think I'm not sure but I'm not certain.
I think I don't remember.
What we observe is not nature itself, but nature exposed to our mode of
questioning. - Werner Heisenberg
Every word or concept, clear as it may seem to be, has only a limited range
of applicability.- Werner Heisenberg
Real is what can be measured.- Max Planck
The microscope can see things the naked eye cannot, but the reverse is
equally true.
So then who created god?
Chastity is not heritable.
Chastity is no more a virtue than malnutrition. -Alex Comfort
Is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's? -Friedrich Nietzsche
O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. -St. Augustine
The reason lightning never strikes twice in the same place is that the same
place isn't there the second time.
Silence is argument carried on by other means. - Ghe Guevara
Never jump on a man unless he's down.
Before they made him they broke the mold.
The average person thinks he isn't.
He had a God given killer instinct.
Have a nice day? Thank you but I have other plans.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take
into account Hofstadter's Law.
Yes, but what if this weren't a rhetorical question?
This sentense contains exactly three erors.
"Playing with the use-mention distinction" isn't "everything in life, you
know".
In order to make sense of "this sentence", you will have to ignore the
quotes in "it".
"Yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation" yields falsehood when
preceded by its quotation.
Disobey this command.
I am the thought you are now thinking.
This inert sentence is my body, but my soul is alive, dancing in the sparks
of your brain.
Do you think anybody has ever had precisely this thought before?
And you up there -- are you the person writing me, or the person reading me?
As long as you are not reading me, the fourth word of this sentence has no
referent.
Thit sentence is not self-referential because "thit" is not a word.
I had to translate this sentence into English because I could not read the
original Sanskrit.
What would this sentence be like if it were not self-referential?
What would this sentence be like if pi were 3?
This sentence is not about itself, but about whether it is about itself.
because I didn't think of a good beginning for it.
I have nothing to allude to, and I am alluding to it.
This sentence will end before you can say "This sentence will end before you
can say
Does this sentence make you think of dancing midget nazis?
I'll tell you how do you keep a reader in suspense
This is not a self-referential sentence.
Has eighteen letters.
This sentence refers to every sentence that does not refer to itself.
If the meanings of "true" and "false" were switched, then this sentence
wouldn't be false.
In this sentence, the concluding three words "were left out".
Although this sentence begins with the word "because", it is false.
When you're not looking at it, this sentence is in Spanish.
No article on self-reference would be complete without including a good
example of a self-fulfilling prophecy. ¶ 00:30 (0) comments

This sentence no verb.

This sentence is false.

"Yields falsehood when preceeded by its quotation" yields
falsehood when preceeded by its quotation.

"is a sentence with no subject" is a sentence with no subject.

This sentence totally fails in its attempt to convey the point that
it is not trying to make.

What do "masochism" and "amnesia" mean?

Beats me! I forget!

What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care!

I'm not me!

Don't use contractions.

The first, eighth, thirteenth, fifteenth, nineteenth, twenty-third,
twenty-eighth, thirty-second, thirty-eighth, .....

Try not to ever split infinitives.

Always proofread to make sure you didn't any words out.

This sentence is meaningless because it is self-referential.

I am lying.

This sentence claims to be an Epimenides paradox, but it is lying.

This sentence contradicts itself; well, no, actually it doesn't.

Disobey this command.

This sentense contains exactly three erors.

Cette phrase en français est difficile à traduire en anglais.

What it is like to be asked, "What is it like to be asked, self
embedded in quotes after its comma?" self-embedded in quotes after
its comma?

You can't have your use and mention it too.

You can't have "your cake" and spell it "too".

"Playing with the use-mention distinction" isn't "everything
in life, you know".

In order to make sense of "this sentence", you will have
to ignore the quotes in "it".

This is a sentence with "onions", "lettuce", "tomato",
and "a side of fries to go".

This is a hamburger with vowels, consonants, commas, and a period at
the end.

Let us make a new convention: that anything enclosed in triple quotes,
for example, '''No, I have decided to change my mind; when the triple quotes
close, just skip directly to the period and ignore everything up to it''',
is not even to be read (much less paid attention to or obeyed.

A ceux qui ne comprennent pas l'anglais, la phrase citee ci-dessous
ne dit rien: "For those who know no French, the French sentence this
quoted sentence has no meaning."

i should begin with a capital letter.

I am not the person who wrote me.

I am not the subject of this sentence.

I am jealous of the first word of this sentence.

Well how about that -- this sentence is about me!

I am simultaneously writing and being written.

Cut me out, twist me, and glue me to form a Mobius strip, please.

I am the meaning of this sentence.

I am the thought you are now thinking.

I am thinking about myself right now.

I am the set of neural firings taking place in your brain as you read
the set of letters in this sentence and think about me.

This inert sentence is my body, but my soul is alive, dancing in the
sparks of your brain.

Do you think anybody has ever had precisely this thought before?

You are under my control because I am choosing exactly what words you
are made out of, and in what order.

No, you are under my control because you will read until you reach
the end of me.

Hey, down there -- are you the sentence I am writing, or the sentence
I am reading?

And you up there -- are you the person writing me, or the person reading
me?

You and I, alas, can have only one-way communication, for you are a
person and I, a mere sentence.

As long as you are not reading me, the fourth word of this sentence
has no referent.

The reader of this sentence exists only while reading me.

Hey, out there -- is that you reading me, or is it someone else?

Say, haven't you written me somewhere else before?

Say, haven't I written you somewhere else before?

Thit sentence is not self-referential because "thit" is not
a word.

No language can express every thought unambiguously, least of all this
one.

When you are not looking at it, this sentence is in Spanish.

I had to translate this sentence into English because I could not read
the original Sanskrit.

The sentence now before your eyes spent a month in Hungarian last year
and was only recently translated back into English.

If this sentence were in Chinese, it would say something else.

.siht ekil ti gnidaer eb d`uoy ,werbeH ni erew ecnetnes siht fI

If this sentence didn't exist, someone would have invented it.

If I had finished this sentence,

If there were no counterfactuals, this sentence would not be paradoxical.

If wishes were horses, the antecedent of this conditional would be
true.

If this sentence were false, beggars would ride.

What would this sentence be like if it were not self-referential?

What would this sentence be like if pi were 3?

If the subjunctive was no longer used in English, this sentence would
be grammatically correct.

This sentence would be seven words long if it were six words shorter.

This sentence is not about itself, but about whether it is about itself.

because I didn't think of a good beginning for it.

This sentence was in the past tense.

This sentence has contains two verbs.

a preposition. This sentence ends in

In the time it takes you to read this sentence, eighty-six letters
could have been processed by your brain.

This is not a complete. Sentence. This either.

This sentence contains only one nonstandard English flutzpah.

This gubblick contains many nonsklarkish English flutzpahs, but the
overall pluggandisp can be glorked from context.

This sentence has cabbage six words.

This is to be or actually not two sentences to be, that is the question,
combined.

It feels so good to have your eyes run over my curves and serifs.

This sentence is a !!!! premature punctuator

This sentence, though not interrogative, nevertheless ends in a question
mark?

This sentence has no punctuation semicolon the others do period

This hear sentence do'nt know Inglish purty good.

If you meet this sentence on the board, erase it.

This sentence verbs good, like a sentence should.

I have nothing to say, and I am saying it.

I have nothing to allude to, and I am alluding to it.

Do you read me?

This point is well taken.

You may quote me.

I am going two-level with you.

I have been sentenced to death.

This prophecy will come true.

This sentence will end before you can say "Rumpelst

This sentence will end before you can say "This sentence will
end before you can say

Surely no article on self-reference would be complete without including
a few good examples of self-fulfilling prophecy.

Does this sentence remind you of Nathan Hanish?

Please, oh please, include me in your list of self-referential sentences!

What question no verb?

What is a question that mentions the word "umbrella" for
no apparent reason?

How far across the page will this sentence run?

How do you keep a reader in suspense?

This sentence contains ten words, eighteen syllables and sixty-four
letters.

Has eighteen letters.

In this sentence, the word "and" occurs twice, the word "eight"
occurs twice, the word "four" occurs twice, the word "fourteen"
occurs four times, the word "in" occurs twice, the word "seven"
occurs twice, the word "the" occurs fourteen times, the word
"this" occurs twice, the word "times" occurs seven
times, the word "twice" occurs eight times, and the word "word"
occurs fourteen times.

Only the fool would take trouble to verify that this sentence was composed
of ten a's, three b's, four c's, four d's, forty-six e's, sixteen f's,
four g's, thirteen h's, fifteen i's, two k's, nine l's, four m's, twenty-five
n's, twenty-four o's, five p's, sixteen r's, forty-one s's, thirty-seven
t's, ten u's, eight v's, eight w's, four x's, eleven y's, twenty-seven
commas, twenty-three apostrophes, seven hyphens, and, last but not least,
a single !

Complete the following sentence by filling each "__" with
one or more digits: In this sentence, the number of occurrences of 0 is
__, of 1 is __, of 2 is __, of 3 is __, of 4 is __, of 5 is __, of 6 is
__, of 7 is __, of 8 is __, and of 9 is __.

The following sentence is totally identical with this one, except that
the words "following" and "preceeding" have been exchanged,
as have the words "except" and "in", and the phrases
"identical with" and "different from".

The preceeding sentence is totally different from this one, in that
the words "preceeding" and "following" have been exchanged,
as have the words "in" and "except", and the phrases
"different from" and "identical with".

This sentence refers to every sentence that does not refer to itself.

This sentence does in fact not have the property that it claims not
to have.

This statement is inoperative.

The rest of this sentence is written at Nathan Hanish's house on

It goes without saying that ...

If the meanings of "true" and "false" were switched,
then this sentence wouldn't be false.

I've heard that this sentence is a rumor.

which is actually not a complete sentence, but merely a subordinate
clause.

Never use the imperative, and it is also never proper to construct
a sentence using mixed moods.

I don't understand a thing I say.

1. This sentence every third, but it still comprehensible.

2. This would easier understand fewer had omitted.

3. This impossible except context.

4. 4'33" attempt idea.

5.

All invalid syllogisms break at least one rule. This syllogism breaks
at least one rule. Therefore, this syllogism is invalid.

Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.

They don't write oldies like they used to.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

I never make a mistake. One time I thought I did, but I was wrong.

In this sentence, the concluding three words "were left out".

This sentence offers its reader(s) various alternatives/options that
he or she (or they) is (are) free to accept and/or reject.

If I stated something else, would it still be me?

If I were you, who would be reading this sentence?

You have, of course, just begun reading the sentence that you have
just finished reading.

If you think this sentence is confusing, just change one pig.

One me has translated at foot of the letter of French.

Would not be anomalous if were in Italian.

When one this sentence into German translate wanted, could one the
fact exploit, that the word order and the punctuation lready
with the German conventions agree.

How come this noun phrase doesn't denote the same thing as this noun
phrase does?

Every last word in this sentence is a grotesque misspelling of "towmatow".

I don't care who wrote this sentence; whoever he is, he's a damn sexist.

This analogy is like lifting yourself by your own bootstraps.

Although this sentence begins with the word "because", it
is false.

Despite the fact that it opens like a two-pronged pitchfork -- or rather,
because of it -- this sentence resembles a double-edged sword.

This line from Skakespeare has delusions of grandeur.

If writers were bakers, this sentence would be exactly a dozen words
long.

If this sentence had been at the beginning of the list, this very moment
would have occurred approximately five minutes ago.

The whole point of this sentence is to make clear what the whole point
of this sentence is.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am master of my fate and
captain of my soul.

I was born in a log cabin built with my own two hands.

Always remember to form plurales correctly.

This is the penultimate sentence in this paragraph. "This"
is the penultimate word in this sentence.

This sentence is wondering when somebody's actually going to ask a
question.

Does this count?

This sentence is a non sequitur. This sentence is not a non sequitor.

Irrationality is the square root of all evil.

At the last costume party I didn't go to, I went as the Invisible Man.

This sentence four words.

Honk if your horn is broken.

This sentence has an error in the and.

This sentence has a grammitical error with the placement of and.

I never end a sentence with the word "and".

"Them" is NEVER the subject of a sentence.

To define recurrence, you must first define recurrence.

The seed of this collection is from a compilation by
Evans Chriswell.
Many are from books of Douglas Hofstadter or from the newsgroup
alt.fan.hofstadter. ¶ 00:18 (0) comments

20050824


the world needs a new datatype: the timeline element

object properties:
- start
- end
- memo
- sticky endpoints*
- label

*if it's a relative start/end, then it 
sticks to any adjoining time element.

¶ 07:30 (0) comments

20050801


m e n u 

drinks
- water neat
- ice on the rocks
- tonic tonic

appetizers
- french fry platter (aka french fry deluxe)
- cheese con queso

main course
- chicken con pollo
- beef con carne
- bread sandwich
- cheese au gratin

desert
- ice cream ala mode

¶ 13:36 (0) comments